


Sicarius and the Roomba

by Kaythehawk



Category: The Emperor's Edge Series - Lindsay Buroker
Genre: F/M, inspired by a tumblr post, this is so dumb but I'm upset and I wrote this to make me happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 19:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18505117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaythehawk/pseuds/Kaythehawk
Summary: I saw a tumblr post that basically sparked the idea of what would happen if Sicarius encountered a Roomba. This is the result. I'd apologize but I'm not actually sorry.





	Sicarius and the Roomba

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [That one tumblr post about sticking a knife on a roomba as reward for finding a sock.](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/474133) by Systlin. 



> So I saw this post on tumblr: http://kay-barton.tumblr.com/post/184255476324/systlin-dragona56-systlin and systlin saying "yes" when asked if the training is for the roomba to stab or systlin to dodge I couldn't help but think of Sicarius. Since I'm upset over the Notre Dame fire and how many people are trying to guilt trip people upset over Notre Dame because it's not an issue those people think is important enough I'm taking a break from tumblr but the idea wouldn't let me be and made me smile so I wrote this to make me fill better. Anyway, here ya go Book Buroker Discord Server.

“What is...this?” Sicarius asked upon encountering a new made object in his home with Amaranth. The object in question was round, approximately three centimeters across, a total height of approximately 9 centimeters, and black in colour.  
“The woman in the shop called it a roomba. She said it’s a broom that doesn’t require human action,” Amaranth said.  
“Hn.”  
The object was unobtrusive for the most part, and quiet. In fact, Sicarius often only remembered it existed because of his training to sense the sciences at work. Then one day it came up to him with something stuck in its sweepers.  
He knelt down in front of it and tugged the object free. A sock? One of Amaranth’s. Possibly the one misplaced during certain amorous activities they had participated in. The roomba was already moving to its next cleaning location but it deserved a reward for finding the sock. And with winter approaching Amaranth seemed more reluctant to go outside for training. Perhaps he could kill two targets with one knife and give the roomba a weapon.  
So decided he began the process of following the roomba around so he could attach one of his least sharp knives to the object’s top.

“Sicarius?”  
Sicarius raised an eyebrow at Amaranth.  
“Why does the roomba have a knife?”  
“It’s good training.”  
“For me to doge or the roomba to stab?”  
“Yes.”


End file.
